Language Switch

When I start speaking in English, it was conscious decision to do so.
But more than so, I had this very firm determination to change myself, my life by adopting to this language.
And it changed very much.
Now, it’s been 6 months since I started living new life in Thailand, have been struggling to find a switch to speak in Thai.
But yesterday, as many things started to get connected, friends, work, my feelings toward my work, my work capability, social networks within, I came to the point where I was forced to find a switch to start speaking, start making obvious effort without any shame.
My feeling about this shame of speaking new language is considered to be too much since I got here. I am proud of speaking English better than those here, I am proud that I can speak Japanese, in fact I am too proud.
As people here have high pride in themselves and the country, as you may not know it.
That can create a wall. High wall.
But with such condition, I decided to speak Thai here now. And I think I managed yesterday to flick the switch. This flicking part of switch has been so hard, so heavy, I could not do it with just index finger and thumb like any electrical switch.

But I try… I decided that I will try harder today.